So How Do People Meet Anyway?
Naturally, fringe game is usually treated as beyond the pale since it falls outside agreed upon social standards where you have to meet through a network of your peers, as loosely connected and fake as that network may be. But actually, internet meeting is the most socially accepted of the fringe strategies a man has at his disposal, since it is at least advertised in a somewhat positive light in the eyes of the public. Just look at the subway advertisements and chances are you will see Lavalife plastered on one of them.
How Most Couples Actually Meet In Practice
Whenever I used to see an obvious boyfriend and girlfriend walking around, I would wonder how they met. I thought that chances are good that the guy has got some good game and maybe picked her up in a club somewhere. But through experience and wisdom gained I realized that most certainly they met through either school, work, or friends. And in fact, if the girl is a young, hot, twenty-something it is virtually 100% certain that she met the guy through her social network, and probably at a young age too, like when she was still in high school. Young attractive girls who are not very picky get snapped up very early, and they are only snapped up by guys in their immediate social network. This means that the remaining single, yet picky females form the pool of women which single guys have to choose from. But even within their social network these women are difficult to get with, and meeting them in public compounds the level of difficulty. This leaves only the internet, since to be on a dating site there must be at least a ghost of a chance you want to meet someone from online. So that strips away one level of difficulty. But unfortunately, the internet is also a catch basin for some of the pickiest females who can't meet someone through the socially accepted means (the big three). These females, frustrated with a lack of "good men" in their social circle, resort to the internet in hopes of finding their prince. Fortunately, you can always pick out (and avoid) the profiles of these women since they are the most romantic sounding, containing buzz phrases such as: "want chemistry", "want to experience passion", or whatever other bullet list they manage to come up with.Screening For Authenticity In Online Dating
In fact, I never, ever hook up with these women. I only hook up with women from online who write simple direct profiles which don't drip with romantic bullshit. Furthermore, I never hook up with women who are looking for anything in particular (unless it's sex). It's the women who look for boyfriends and something "genuine" and "real" that I have a very hard time meeting, and if I do, it's a crap-fest anyway. This is one main reason why I restrict myself to only offering new women sex, since I am almost never good enough to be the boyfriend (again, working from the picky pool of single women I have to work with). You see, sex is just one thing, which I can deliver. But the boyfriend role has many expectations that go with it, and quite a bit of bullshit to boot. So as a result, whenever I meet someone new it's only ever as a sex prospect.It might seem like I'm taking an overly extreme position by screening for 100% sex. But Toronto women force you to take extremes. For example, if you said you were looking for something between a casual and serious relationship, the women will try to push you towards the serious relationship end of the spectrum (along with all the bullshit that goes with that). So if you give them even the possibility of an opening they will try to take it, hence the reason why I have to take the extreme position that I do.
However, if by chance she is nice enough then more can develop, and it will be much more REAL. But I never start off with the possibility of "more" because it always invites the scheming types. When women say they want something "real" and "genuine" in their internet profile, they actually mean something that is socially stamped as such, such as dating, dinner, waiting for sex, and whatever other relationship stipulations this society tells women they deserve and as such should demand from a mate. The key is to recognize that meeting single women online requires understanding their coded language and expectations.
But like I said, I reject such fake bullshit, and I therefore never, ever start off as anything but the sex prospect, because if I do it usually never goes anywhere (meaning I am not her type). And the few times where it can, it does so in a direction I don't like, with fake courtship rituals or other market-value related bullshit where I have to pay to play, but at the same time not look like I'm doing that.
Also, it's easier for me to meet an attractive woman for sex than as a prospective boyfriend, again because sex is just one thing, but a boyfriend must be many things.
The Attraction Mismatch And Female Overestimation
There is another interesting facet of the whole meeting dynamic that is worth exploring. This is the complaint both men and women often have that the people they meet who they like don't want to see them again, and the people who they don't like want to see them again. Why is this happening?Since women here generally have an inflated sense of their own attractiveness and what they deserve, they usually end up going for guys that are actually more physically attractive than them. So it makes sense that in this instance the men don't want to see them again, since they sense the discrepancy and justifiably feel they deserve more. And this explains the complaint women have where they say that when they meet someone they like (someone who is more attractive than them), that person doesn't like them back.
Now, when women complain that when they don't like the guy, but the guy likes them, it's more commonly because the guy is closer to the woman's own level of physical attractiveness, but because of her own inflated sense of attractiveness she sees him as not good enough. Understanding what women actually want versus what they claim to want requires careful observation of authentic behavior rather than stated expectations.
Guys are more reasonable in their expectations. So when guys complain that when they like a girl, that girl doesn't like them, it's more commonly because the girl is closer to his own attractiveness, which justifiably explains why the guys are surprised and frustrated. But when guys complain that when they don't like the girl, but she likes them, it's more commonly because the girl is significantly below the guy's own attractiveness and she's just overshooting what she thinks she deserves.
The Asymmetry Of Compromise And Attraction Standards
This means that women more often reject men closer to their own actual level of attractiveness, and men more often accept women closer to their own level of attractiveness. But hook ups can only happen when both parties like each other, so the end result is that less attractive women hook up with more attractive men more commonly than the reverse situation, since women tend to stick to their guns more than men and are willing to go for YEARS without sex until they meet the man who doesn't mind going out with a woman less attractive than him. They can hold out for the overshoot more than men can resist the undershoot.So it looks like the man is getting a raw deal, which is true, but only if he's monogamous. The reality of successful dating today requires that men and women define their expectations clearly and accept realistic rather than fantasy standards. The way I see it, I don't mind being with a woman who is not quite as attractive as me, as long as I can still be with other women. To me, that's the equalizer in what appears to be an unfair situation where men are concerned.